"I don’t know what’s special about me… I don’t have anything special about me," a 5-year-old once told me. I’ll be honest, I was shocked. How could a child not be able to say a single thing that made them feel proud of themselves? - Nothing that singled them out from everyone else.
It was a learning curve for me. I realised that knowing what makes you special isn’t something that children necessarily know about themselves. For whatever reason, some children really need help with identifying what makes them stand out, what particular skills, talents and unique attributes help to define them.
Since then, I’ve really worked hard to ensure that I give children the language they need to talk about themselves - language that they can take with them throughout life to help them feel good about themselves, and to raise their self-esteem.
Here are some things you can do with your class:
• Help children understand that they are made up of a complex mix of things, including how they look, their skills and talents, and their personality. Some of these change and some stay the same.
• Pick a few different children each day. Talk to them in spare moments and find out what they like/dislike and are good at. Give them the language to praise themselves…
"Wow Molly, not everyone can remember to feed their dog every day/draw Pokemon so well/give someone space in the line without asking. That’s part of what makes you unique and special. Don’t forget to tell yourself that and feel proud."
• Actively teach children how to praise each other and how to accept compliments…
"I noticed that Tariq kept going when the maths was tough today/ was really careful when cutting out the pictures/ balanced that ball in PE really well. Who’d like to compliment Tariq? Did anyone notice anyone else they’d like to praise? Is anyone proud of themselves for something today?"
• Hold a ‘Teach your Talent Day’, where children work in small groups sharing what they can do with each other. I’ve seen children teach each other magic tricks; demonstrate how to do a back bend, explain how to look after a dog and teach how to draw a cartoon dinosaur. Every child has a skill, they just sometimes need help realising it.
Also, don’t forget yourself. You are unique and special too. Every teacher has a different set of skills that help them be great at their job and none of us are the same. Instead of comparing yourself to the person in the next room and convincing yourself they’re better, look for the things you’re good at. Look for those little achievements throughout the day. There is no one way to be a great teacher – you are great just as you are.
If you’d like to do some work on this with your class, our FREE Back to School: Identity Pack gives you lesson plans and resources to help children develop a sense of their own unique identity and feel good about themselves. Download it here.
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